Last post I previewed my plan to do a Luau, complete with the Kalua pig. Well, I simplified things a bit, but for the most part I did everything as traditionally as I could, and the results were delicious and fun!
OK, for you non-pacific islanders out there, a Kalua pig is basically roasted in a pit in the ground over the course of a day, using smoke and hot rocks buried with the pig to do the cooking. Now, I am a big picture guy, so I will give you a general rundown of what I did, and then detail the rest out further on down. To me, this is the easiest way to understand it.
You know what the best part about this is? I pretty much just read other people's blogs (none of whom are trained chefs... or Hawaiians...) to figure out how to do this. And now, you are reading my blog learning how in the same way. I can only hope one of you dumb schmucks tries this, and then blogs about it to pass on the information! ... OK that got too deep, just read and enjoy...
*Disclaimer* This cooking process involves fire, super-heated rocks, and burying and leaving said objects (fire and hot rocks) relatively unattended in the ground for a while. Use common sense! Don't burn your house down... its a hassle... take my word for it.
Here is the general rundown:
1) Dig a pit
2) Line the pit with rocks
3) Build a fire on the rocks
4) Feed the fire for a couple hours to heat the rocks
5) Prepare and wrap the pig
6) Put leafy branches or soaked wood chips on fire
7) Put pig on fire and cover with more branches
8) Cover the whole mass with a wet blanket
9) Cover with a layer of dirt to make airtight
10) Wait 12-16 hours, and enjoy!
That's basically it! Here are more details on what I did with each of the steps.
#1-2 The pit: Dig a pit about 3 feet deep with steep walls. If you're doing a whole pig, it should be about the size of a shallow grave (foreshadowing? I hope not... so be careful!) Since I only did a shoulder it was just about 3 feet by 3 feet. The rocks should be somewhere between the size of a softball and a grapefruit, and enough to surround whatever you are roasting, and maybe even to stuff a few inside the carcass. I used paver bricks, which actually worked great! *Warning* Evidently some rocks, like those that have been in water for a long time, will explode when super-heated. Maybe try just heating one rock in a fire first before going all in. Or just wus out like me and use bricks!
#3-4 The fire: Pretty easy, right? The bigger, hotter, and longer you burn it, the better. Once you've got glowing hot rocks/bricks, let it smolder down for 20 mins or so.
#5 The Piggy: Now, at the outset, I'd like to say that those who are strictly traditional are never innovative. Traditionally the pig is just salted and wrapped in banana leaves, and maybe chicken wire for easy handling. I followed suit and just used salt and wrapped it in cabbage leaves (again, no banana trees in Kearney!) and then aluminum foil to keep it all together. When I do it again, I am gonna spice rub the sh%+ out of that pig! The final product was tender and juicy, just a little bit plain. I love me some BBQ, so I say spice that up! But don't try and tell a large Samoan man that it is traditional, he might hurt you.
#6-9 Entombing: arrange the rocks and coals a bit (I don't feel like I need to say "don't use your bare hands" ...maybe some tongs would be in order?) to make a nice bed that will surround the meat. If you're using a whole pig, save a few to put in the cavity. Then, put some wet wood or leafy branches down to make a 2-4 inch cushion. No, I still haven't found any damn banana trees in Kearney! I used maple branches and soaked hickory chips... did I mention I love barbecue? Put a few more branches on top. The steam/smoke really flavors the meat and helps cook it, so don't be shy! Then, put a wet blanket over the whole mess, and add enough dirt to make it airtight on all the edges. Wait for a minute and watch for smoke escaping, that is not what you want! Seal 'er up tight!
#10 Wait: This was really hard for me, and that is why I hate baking. Just wait. Leave it alone. Don't look at it. You won't be able to smell anything or see anything happening, so there's no need to check on it. Why are you still glancing over there?? It might be smart to have someone on the premises to make sure nothing burns down or explodes, though. HEY, what did we say about checking on it?!?! Leave it alone!
If you've done everything properly (which you probably didn't... you're a dumb schmuck and you've been pounding Bud heavy since 9 am) then after 12 hours or so you'll have a mess of tender pork waiting to be eaten in a drunken-munchies rage. Take the blanket off, clear off the branches and get ready! If you just did a shoulder like me, use a pair of oven mitts and just put it in a pan. If you did the whole shebang, find the three drunkest guys at the party to help you haul Babe off the coals and into the kitchen!
At this point, it's all fair game. Sandwiches? Sure. Pork tacos? Prove it! Sauce? I like your style. Pork Pie? Lets get weird! Just eat it, and until next time, FOLLOW THE PACE RABBIT!
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