Saturday, October 19, 2013

#FBF: Don't Trip, Its Just Fall!

Well I’m back at it again! Today, although I am a day late, I wanna do a Food Blog Friday about the Flavors of Fall. The only problem is, I don’t like fall all that much…

That’s right, I came out and said it, and you Pumpkin Spice Latte Lovers are now pissed at me. But lets be honest here, all you people who post on FaceBook about “loving all these fall colors, and my wool sweaters and scarves and pumpkin spiced lattes and hot bowls of soup” are really just compensating for the overwhelmingly-shitty fact that summer is OVER.

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love football, and the holidays, and I’ve had some of my best racing in the fall… I’ve even been known to don a wool sweater too, (but not a scarf, the word just kinda bothers me. Go ahead and say it out loud… weird right?) But I have realized lately that I prefer all of the other seasons to fall. Why? The food, of course!

I realize what this all comes down to is that I don’t really love the food that most white people’s great-grandparents ate, and those are the flavors of fall. I think its badass that my Norwegian ancestors pillaged and burned and generally kicked ass, but you won’t catch me going into a Norwegian restaurant.

First of all, I’m gonna go on record here and say that this pumpkin spice thing has gone way too far. I nearly judo-kicked the hipster brewing my coffee when offered he me a pumpkin spiced latte, which was bad enough. But then I recently sampled Blue Moon’s Pumpkin Spiced Ale, which was like biting into a pumpkin candle, and thus a mistake in my life on the caliber of betting my brother that leprechauns were real. Don’t do it, unless you want to lose five dollars and a significant amount of faith in your friends. 

Second, I can’t get into any of the fall vegetables. Squash is probably the 17th worst word in the English language (again, say it aloud) and I’m just not big on the flavor or texture, generally speaking.

“But, Sam, just bake it with cinnamon and brown sugar,” You say? At this point I’m just confused. Am I eating dessert or a side dish? I’ll pass on your cinnamon-mush.

Also, I have a hard time getting excited about soup. It is another one of those weird words (I swear I don’t do drugs, but say it aloud…) I am rarely wowed by a soup… especially if it has squash in it. However hearty, filling, and healthy they are, I almost never want soup, I’ll just tolerate it.

Now, Holiday fare is a sensitive subject. People love this stuff, and why not?? It’s comforting, it reminds us of our childhood, and our friends and family is around, and not to mention its generally bad for us! But I’ll again go on record and say that I’m usually hummed out by a holiday meal. Look at your plate, its made up of varying shades of brown mush and a dry piece of turkey, right? You want me to gorge myself on that?? Don’t worry though; I’ll do a post a little closer to the big day to show you how to add some color to your Turkey Day.

Maybe my bitterness on this subject isn’t due to the food. Maybe the Pumpkin Spiced Latte is just a harbinger of colder weather and no more triathlon until spring, and not necessarily all bad food. Ok, I’ll stop bitching now. Next week I’ll give y’all a couple fall recipes that I do like!

Fall fruits? Apples and pears? Now we’re getting somewhere! And you know what, I went back to the coffee shop later and took the hipster up on his Pumpkin Spiced Latte (after apologizing for breathing fire on him) and it was kind of ok… Lets just say a small was plenty for this guy.


Until next time, FOLLOW THE PACE RABBIT!